You're completely useless in the revolution.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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