i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
