i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I understand Curling. That high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
