I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
