All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
