Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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