I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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