Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
