i need an iv and a liver transplant
My hand turned me down
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
