I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
