I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
