this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's always time for handjobs
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
