I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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