Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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