By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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