If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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