please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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