Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
