Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
