still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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