Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Randomize
