fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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