Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
