I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
