bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
