The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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