Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
