im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
