I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
