I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
