I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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