47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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