woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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