I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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