My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
