I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
