I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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