you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize