Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ttyl tear gas
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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