the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
