So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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