Farmville is her only friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
