Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize