I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
