I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
