Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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