the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Dear god my vagina.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
