We won't sleep together?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
