Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
