If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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