she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
