its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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