So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
