But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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