I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
