I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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