think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
