I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
