This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
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he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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