Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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