im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
