he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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