dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Is it penis luge time yet?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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