why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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