im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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