I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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