babies were throwing up all over the place
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
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well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
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That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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