i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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