paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
