Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
