As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
