She said her name was "party"
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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