what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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