omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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