It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So squirting runs in the family.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
