You just made me feel so damn special
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
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I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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