no. you can't hotbox the world.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
