i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
